Hope's Blog 🦋

Huge buses with professional logos took up most of the space in the host home driveway. Wow! I had never seen such massive vehicles. I could only imagine what lie just beyond those secretive and guarded bus doors. I envisioned colourful costumes studded in crystals and gemstones. I could imagine guitars, fiddles, drums and microphones pressed into each vacant corner behind the gold and silver window drapes. This was a feast for a young girl's eyes, a young girl whose spirit had not yet been tainted by the dark secrets of the present world.

It was turning into an unforgettable smorgasbord of delights, food, fellowship and fun! I was especially delighted when two of the group members invited me to sing along with them on one of their songs. Although I really was not all that familiar with gospel music, I did know this particular song. We entertained the hosts and guests; afterwards, we settled in to a nice conversation about life, music and God.

 

A bit into the conversation, one of the group members stated how much he enjoyed talking with me, and then asked why I had not come to the special "Dinner on the Ground" the evening prior.

OK, when someone asks you a question, you just answer it truthfully - right?

Well, I answered the question with a truthful fact: 
 “I wasn't invited.”

As life would have it, the host family female overheard my answer and immediately verbally chastised me. Shaking a multi-diamond clad finger in my face, she gnarled at me, growling with displeasure - lipstick stained teeth filling the gap between my sudden shocked surprise and her piercing angry eyes:

“That was very rude of you!”

I was startled and confused. What did I do? I merely answered the man's question. I had not answered with any pretence or disdain. I felt no animosity or vengefulness. I could not answer that I did not know about the “singing” and dinner, because I did. I could not answer that I was sick or out of town, because I was not.

I could not even say that I had not desired to be there, because that would have been a lie.

I just answered a question - truthfully.

Everyone who truly knows me, knows how very emotionally sensitive I am. I love deeply, therefore I hurt deeply. Well, a sudden flood of tears began pouring from my eyes and cascading down my face. I felt embarrassed and humiliated; the momentary joy of the moment had now dissipated into a dark shadow of despair. I did not know what to do. I did not know where to go. And there was no place to hide.

But as life would also have it, I was suddenly encased in a circle of loving arms. My new friends embraced me in my moment of suffering, filling my heart's ears with consoling words of comfort and encouragement.

“Don't you ever change, young lady.” “You stay just as you are.” “You are a joy and a delight.”

~

I have occasionally reflected back on that budding moment of young adulthood and those fading yet still fragrant trials of innocence. And in those reflections I have asked myself time and time again:

“How could I have restated that answer more respectfully and lovingly?”

“How can I speak honestly without deceiving my own heart or the heart of another?”

“Is it more important to save face or face disgrace?”

But more often than not, I find myself thinking and asking:

“Did I really say that?”